We are born.
Some of us are born to mothers who chose the father wisely. They met, fell in love,
married and later welcomed us into the domestic arrangement God intended and designed for our optimum success in life.
Some of us are born to mothers who chose the father poorly. They met, maybe fell in love, maybe not, had sex outside of marriage- and he, having no commitment to our mother, took off and left her to do a two-person job completely alone.
Now, does this have anything to do with us? NO. The circumstances of our conception and birth are chosen for us, and for those who had a mother choose poorly, we suffer those consequences. We are the ones that do not have a father to tuck us in at night like other children do- a father to instill self-esteem and self-worth. To the little boy, a father provides a role model and inspires him to confidence. For the little girl, a father provides protection and self-esteem, assuring the little girl that she is loveable and precious. Children without daddies find these things elsewhere- men in premature fatherhood, gangs and violence, women in promiscuity and unhealthy relationships with men.
We that have married parents are less likely to live in poverty and forced to eat government cheese. We have more opportunities, our parents are more involved with us, and we are free to chase our hopes and dreams for our lives. We have two parents to go to, one to comfort us when the other dies. We have the right model on which to make our own choices.
Once again,
does this have anything to do with us? NO. Are the children of two-parent households somehow smarter, or better? Absolutely not.
And these are the lucky ones: 25% of babies will be murdered prior to birth. Since the vast majority of these children, 88% were conceived out of wedlock, it stands to reason that had these babies been conceived in a marriage, they'd meet a bassinette, not a garbage disposal.
All the single parents with their complaints about single parenting- the "baby mama drama" and the father that doesn't pay his child support on time (if it all)- You chose that. You're children, however, DID NOT. They are forced to accept the consequences of your poor choices, and are systematically expected to repeat these choices themselves. Inheriting injustice does not grant you license to perpetuate it. It must end somewhere.
I'm reminded of my best friend, the mother of my Godson. She is the oldest of 9 children and she never knew her father. Her siblings have 7 different fathers, only one of which have 2 of the children ever met, simply because this one stuck around long enough to impregnate her mother AGAIN. My best friend was the one that cared for her siblings, missing school every time her mother had another baby. We use the phrase "government cheese" as slang, but this is actually what she ate, recounting how the knife would get stuck in the middle of the block when she's try to cut it.
She quickly realized that the only way out of this lifestyle was not to have children alone- and the only way not to have children alone was to abstain from sex until she was married. She endured a lot of persecution for her choice, focused on school, graduated and attended college. There she met her husband- they married, and they asked her mother if she could raise her little sister, who cried all through the wedding. They've been a family since then, 8 years now, and my Godson now makes 4. By the way, my friend is the only member of her family to graduate high school and she now has a master's degree.
What's my point? You have the fortune you're born into, but the fate that you choose. Becoming a single parent or the parent of a child you've killed through abortion is a completely avoidable choice. Choosing to have sex with either the intention dismembering the baby or knowing that you'll birth him/her into the life you had is not only foolish for you, but an injustice to your baby.
I wish I could say that my choice to abstain from sex was due to a higher level of self-respect or some greater moral force, but that's not altogether true. It simply came down to the fact that I could not take chances with my children. My children deserve better than that. With a world already so messed up, the least I can do is give my children the best start at life rather than condemn them to a mother that works to much to see a dance recital and a father they'll only see on weekends.
Choosing to have sex outside of marriage risks so much of your well-being, your emotional, spiritual and physical health. If it were simply that, there is reason enough to abstain. But the truth is that it will be your children that suffer the worse fate, although you made the poor choices, not them.
If you can't abstain for yourself, do it for your children.
